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Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 105 #150506

sci-fried-eggs-logoThe Sci-Fried Eggs are back and they are broadcasting this week from Studio B at Bathurst Manor!  Doc starts with a review of the Hulu original series Deadbeat.  Then Doc and Chuck discuss their new show sponsor, Rocket Helo Energy Drink along with discussing 3-D printers.  Chuck reviews Patton Oswalt’s new book Zombie Spaceship Wasteland.  The Eggs review The Avengers: Age of Ultron.  And then Doc and Chuck do some catching up on stuff they missed while they were on leave.

Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 105 – Click to Listen or Download

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 105, Segment 1
The Sci-Fried Eggs Return and Deadbeat Review

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 105, Segment 2
Rocket Helo Show and 3-D Printers

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 105, Segment 3
Zombie Spaceship Wasteland Review

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 105, Segment 4
Avengers: Age of Ultron Review

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 105, Segment 5
Catching Up on Things


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The Grey Side of the Force

Now I’m going to assume you are familiar with Star Wars.  If you’re not, go watch Star Wars and Empire Strikes Back.  I include Empire Strikes Back because it’s a really good movie.  Watching the rest of the Star Wars films is up to you.  I’ll wait.

Okay, so now that everyone has seen Star Wars, you have a general understanding about the light side and the dark side of the Force.  I often think about how cool it would be to be able to use the Force.  I think about it almost as much as I think about how cool it would be to be part of the Q Continuum on Star Trek (you can watch Star Trek: The Next Generation on your own time.  It’s not required reading for this essay).  Anyway, back to the Force.  There’s a lot you can do with the Force.  You can lift rocks and boxes and spaceships.  You can influence the weak-minded (which pretty much means everyone except giant worm-like mob bosses and really shady junk yard owners).  And all that’s cool.  But I think there are far more useful things to use the Force for.

I think I would fall in the grey spectrum of Force users.  I wouldn’t be actively evil, like choking people from across the room or shooting people with lightning until they change the TV channel back to Storage Wars.  No, I wouldn’t be mean like that at all.  I wouldn’t do things to hurt people.  But I would seriously make some people’s lives inconvenient when necessary.  You know, just to keep them in check.  Sort of a Karma thing.  That’s cool, right?

Then there are the mischievous things I would do.  You know, the ol’ college prank basics.  Unsnapping bra straps from across the quad.  Penny locking doors from across the hall.  Relieving vending machines of their delicious riches without having to shake them violently.  I’d get a kick out of moving things around in locked or secured areas, just to make security people wonder and be a little more alert on their next round.  If you think your cat is confused by laser pointers, wait until I get into a room with your cat and launch my Force powers arsenal.  I might actually charge people for this particular cat “training” service.  I know there are a lot of my guy friends who would part with big bucks (or several cases of beer) to teach their girlfriend’s cat a lesson or two.  Imagine Mr. Boots’s surprise when I say, “Come here” and he floats over to me.  At the very least, it will let the cat know who is in charge from here on out.

Then there would be actions of convenience for me.  Like for instance when I want to really want to tie one on on a Sunday and I can’t purchase beer until noon.  What a buzzkill, am I right?  Besides, you can’t drink all day unless you start right when you get up.  Now imagine this scenario.

Clerk:  Sorry, sir, you can’t purchase beer until noon on Sunday.  It’s 8:30AM.

Me: *waves hand in front of clerk*  I can buy this beer.

Clerk: You can buy this beer.  *shakes head, confused at what was just said*  Ummm, I’ll need to see your ID.

Me:  You don’t need to see my identification.

Clerk:  I don’t need to see your identification.

Me: If fact, I don’t owe you anything for it.

Clerk:  You don’t owe me anything for it.

Me:  Have a nice day, sir.

Clerk:  Have a nice day, sir.

Me:  Move along.

Clerk:  Move along.  Move along.

I can imagine this Force mind control would be a really handy thing to have in a lot of scenarios.  It does mean I’d have to go to “pay” all my bills in person, but that is a mild inconvenience for all the money I’d save in the long run.

The possibilities here are really endless for me.  Red lights when driving would be a thing of the past.  I’d make sure every light was green when I drove around.  I’d never have to wait at the doctor’s office or pay a co-pay.  My kite would never get stuck in a tree again.  I could finally get those marbles that rattle around in my ventilation system.  I could unclog my kitchen sink without harsh chemicals.  I would never get in trouble for moving a ladder that is “clearly marked” for employees only have to ask for assistance for things on top shelves at stores.  And I’d breeze through the DMV, not that I would need an ID much anymore, unless I ran into a giant worm-like mob boss or a really shady junk yard owner, which happens a lot  more to me than most people realize.

Motivational Madness #130412

han ross

Man, I really wish Bob Ross would have painted spaceships.

Totally Believable Advertising #120803

The original Agent J.  And Agent E too.

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