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Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 110 #150610


sci-fried-eggs-logoThis week the Sci-Fried Eggs broadcast live from Geek Out in Asheville, NC!  The Eggs talk with Charlie Caine’s Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse author Julianne Jackson and artist Stewart Williams.  Then the Eggs chat with The Walking Dead zombie actor Wallace Krebs.  And Doc and Chuck round out the show chatting with the inspirational author I.R. Harris!

Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 110 – Click to Listen or Download

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 110, Segment 1
Julianne Jackson and Stewart Williams Part 1

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 110, Segment 2
Julianne Jackson and Stewart Williams Part 2

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 110, Segment 3
Wallace Krebs

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 110, Segment 4
I.R. Harris Part 1

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 110, Segment 5
I.R. Harris Part 2

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Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 109 #150603


sci-fried-eggs-logoThis week the Sci-Fried Eggs get geared up for Geek Out in Asheville, NC, by bringing you a rebroadcast of last year’s Geek Out broadcast!  The Eggs talk with actor Eddie Rus from the upcoming series Readers.  Vampirella artist Louis Small, Jr. stops by to chat with the gang.  And author and the all-around awesome and inspiring I. R. Harris chats and laughs with the Eggs and answers The Half Dozen!

Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 109 – Click to Listen or Download

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 109, Segment 1
Geek Out 2014 Rebroadcast: Eddie Rus from Readers

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 109, Segment 2
Geek Out 2014 Rebroadcast: Louis Small, Jr. Part 1

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 109, Segment 3
Geek Out 2014 Rebroadcast: Louis Small, Jr. Part 2

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 109, Segment 4
Geek Out 2014 Rebroadcast: I.R. Harris Part 1

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 109, Segment 5
Geek Out 2014 Rebroadcast: I.R. Harris Part 2

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Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 101 #150408


sci-fried-eggs-logoThis week 5 Minute Delay Radio brings you a rebroadcast of the Sci-Fried Eggs while their fate is decided.  In this rebroadcast The Sci-Fried Eggs broadcast live from Geek Out in Asheville, NC!  Special guests Amber Nash and Lucky Yates, a.k.a. Pam Poovey and Dr. Krieger from the hit FX show Archer, stop by and chat.  And Doc and Chuck discuss Iron Man 3.

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Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 101 – Click to Listen or Download

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 101, Segment 1
Rebroadcast: Amber Nash and Lucky Yates Part 1

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 101, Segment 2
Rebroadcast: Amber Nash and Lucky Yates Part 2

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 101, Segment 3
Rebroadcast: Amber Nash and Lucky Yates Part 3

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 101, Segment 4
Rebroadcast: Pam Poovey and Dr. Krieger

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 101, Segment 5
Rebroadcast: IronMan 3

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Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 72 #140917


sci-fried-eggs-logoThis week the Sci-Fried Eggs are on the road broadcasting from the Bathurst Manor Radio Production Unit Truck.  Chuck and Cher start with some Doctor Who News.  Then the Eggs discuss some new safety technology.  The Eggs bring you an interview with Todd Houff from Geek Out.  Chuck and Doc talk about their Netflix account.  And the Eggs discuss some of the best examples of real science in science-fiction films!

Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 72 – Click to Listen or Download

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 72, Segment 1
Doctor Who News

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 72, Segment 2
Safety Tech

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 72, Segment 3
Todd Houff Interview

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 72, Segment 4
Netflix Follies

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 72, Segment 5
Science in Sci-Fi Films

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An Open Letter to the “Future”


Dear Future (currently the present),

I’m a little miffed at you.  Actually that’s a lie.  I’m a little more than miffed.  I’m angry, but the kind of angry where someone cuts in front of you in traffic when you clearly didn’t want to let them into the traffic flow.  That kind of angry.  The kind of angry where you get mad and use swears but have no intention of actually doing anything about it.  But that’s my issue, Future, not yours.  Here are the issues I have with you.

I’m not going to candy-coat this at all.  You’re a flat-out liar.  You promised all these amazing things, and you haven’t delivered on any of them.  Seriously, I don’t know what you were smoking in the ’60s to come up with all these outrageous claims, but, Future, you should have been in politics because you talked really big and produced very little.  And I’m not talking about the big things.  I’m talking about the little stuff.  Let’s discuss, shall we?

Okay, I went to Dairy Queen the other day to get a Confetti Cake Blizzard®.  And the rest of my afternoon/evening was ruined because guess what Dairy Queen was out of?  That’s right, confetti cake!  My big question here is how?  Come on, Future!  You’re telling me that we are still dealing with restaurants running out of stuff?  For reals?!  I mean, seriously, everything is like computer controlled now.  Inventory is checked by computers.  Things get scanned.  It’s super hard to steal office supplies from your job anymore.  And you’re telling me that we haven’t designed a system that alerts a restaurant when they are running low on something.  Or better yet, just automatically orders it!  I’ll tell you this, 1-800-Contacts knows exactly when I should be out of contacts.  And the DMV sure does keep up with when my vehicle registration is due.  And I don’t know if you’ve been to your local DMV lately, but those people couldn’t give a shit if you were on fire (I’m guessing their apathy is a result of their job environment.  I’m sure DMV employees are very nice people in general).  So if the DMV can keep up with something, Dairy Queen and other places (Cheddar’s, I’m mostly looking at you) need to get their act together too.  Future, I blame this issue on you.

Also, have you not designed something to deal with the common cold yet?  Or I’ll even ease back on this one, Future, and just leave it at not designing something to keep our noses from running.  Honestly, why are we still dealing with runny noses?  That’s kids stuff.  It’s not something adults should have to deal with!  All this from the same planet that practically eliminated Polio, and we can’t keep our noses from running.  Future, I think you’ve been too focused on dealing with big issues to handle the things that the planet really needs.  Yeah, the space program is great, and I know you have really been on about that since the ’50s, but I’d trade velcro and weightlessness (both things which I rarely use) for not having to blow my nose every 30 seconds any day of any week.

And where are we on robots and artificial intelligence?  We’ve been working on these things for years and we still don’t have anything close to a robot that can handle household chores or yard work?  You gave us the Roomba, which is okay, I guess, until it goes under your couch.  Then you never see it again.  You haven’t even given us an R2-D2, and that’s essentially just a big trash can on wheels.  The best we’ve gotten so far is a robot that can dance.  Dancing robots.  Great.  Fantastic.  You’re basing the entire research plan for artificial intelligence on imitating part of a Michael Jackson video (Billie Jean if you were wondering).  At this point, I’d be happy with a Chani from Devil Girl from Mars.

Now I know this was Hanna-Barbera’s promise, and not yours, Future, but where are we on a car that folds into a suitcase?  You’ve had how many years to figure this out, and the best you’ve brought us is the auto-folding side mirrors for parking?  That’s it?  We haven’t even moved forward with car door technology.  Scissor doors, pocket doors, rotary drop doors (look up rotary drop doors; they are super cool), Future, you just looked at all of those and decided that the best solution to door dings is a half-inch piece of rubber molding.  Way to phone it in.  It’s like you didn’t even try.

Granted, you have been working pretty hard lately on driver-less cars, and that’s better than nothing.  And I’ll give you a pass on not having a flying car, because, let’s face it, that is probably the best call for everyone involved.  People have a hard enough time driving in two dimensions, much less trying to handle three.  And I’ll also give you a free pass on not designing a workable jet pack.  I only know like maybe seven people on the planet who are smart/responsible enough to give a jet pack to.  So good call on sitting on the jet pack.  But with all the other stuff, I’d really like to see a little more effort on your part.

Cordially yours,
-Doc

My Coworkers Don’t Know Me


I’ve been working at this job for well over nine months.  It’s been long enough that I could have had a kid here (and long enough to know that Trisha did have a kid and is now on maternity leave).  And none of my coworkers know me.  They see me every day and none of them know who I am.  I really thought that taking a job at a baltimization plant would be where I would excel as a person.  A job where I would have room to learn and grow.  But that’s not the case.  For some reason everyone thinks I’m this other guy named Dirk Hirder.

Now don’t get me wrong, this Dirk guy is clearly well-liked.  Everyone says hey to me all the time.  I get invited to all kinds of parties and get-togethers.  All the ladies wink and smile at me.  It kind of makes me wonder at times why Dirk doesn’t work here anymore.  It makes me wonder why Dirk left (I assume he left. I can’t imagine as well-liked as he seems to be that he got fired).  And then I guess I also have to wonder how everyone doesn’t know that I’m not Dirk.  But those are all questions that are probably better left unanswered because having people at work think you are someone else is the best thing ever!

Granted it was kind of uncomfortable for the first couple weeks.  People would call me Dirk and I would correct them.  And then they would laugh and say, “Dirk, you’re so funny!”  So I eventually decided to lean into it.  And I leaned hard.  Because Dirk always says if you’re gonna do something, do it big!  Dirk does all kinds of fun stuff I never do.  Dirk goes sail fishing.  Dirk has been cliff diving.  When I took a week off to go see my aunt and cousin in Cleveland and spent the whole week watching reruns of Mama’s Family and The Golden Girls, Dirk went big game hunting in the heart of Africa with Lance Bass.

One weekend I was out in the yard planting some new daffodils in one of my flower beds, and, when I stood up, I lost my balance and fell directly on a hand rake, which jabbed a pretty decent size hole in my side.  I went to the hospital and they patched me up.  Luckily, that was the same weekend of the famous running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain.  So I bet you can guess what Dirk did that weekend.  That’s right, that lucky sonofabitch ran with the bulls and ended up getting gently tagged by one of them.  Dirk considers it a sacred scar of the experience of living life to the fullest.

And if you saw my cubicle, you’d immediately realize that I’ve spent quite a lot of money on trophies over the past eight and a half months.  That’s really Chase’s fault.  Chase is a real stickler (a-hole).  It all started one Monday when Dirk was chatting with Cindy, Monica, and Pam at the water cooler and telling them about how he had won this big bowling tournament over the weekend (Kingpin was on TBS).  So the ladies were all impressed and giggling when Chase walked up and said, “Oh, so you won a bowling tournament?  Where’s your trophy then, Hirder?”  Well, that afternoon, I went to Eduardo’s Tienda de Trofeos near the flea market and got the biggest bowling trophy that he had!  And since I buy a lot of guacamole and chapulines from his sister’s bodega, Eduardo engraved the trophy for free!  And the look on Chase’s face when I brought in that 36 inch trophy to proudly display in my cubicle was priceless.  In fact, I sat the trophy on the top of my cubicle cabinet, so the little bowler guy on top of the trophy almost touches the ceiling.  It’s like a little miniature Chrysler building towering over all the other cubicles in of our office.  Since then, Dirk has won 38 other trophies for various events ranging from unicycle hockey to bog snorkeling.  So take that, Chase!  Cross Dirk Hirder and you get burned!

Then there is all the female attention Dirk gets.  I don’t sleep around, but Dirk has slept with casually dated eleven different women at work in the last six months.  Yup, you did the math right.  That’s a different girl almost every two weeks!  Yessirre!  Dirk is quite the ladies’ man.  And the best part is there hasn’t been any drama.  All the girls sleep with Dirk for a couple weeks and then go through this phase where they break up with him because they feel they aren’t good enough for a great guy like Dirk.  And then I, uh, I mean, Dirk gets to be all heart-broken so the next lucky lady can swoop in and console him.  And I’ve found that a woman consoling a heart-broken Dirk Hirder is a one-way ticket to make-out town!

So to sum up the last nine months of my life at my job, my coworkers have no idea whatsoever who I am.  And oddly enough, I’m totally okay with that.  Or, more to the point, Dirk Hirder is totally okay with that.

 

♠ The title for this essay is courtesy of Brandon Echols.  If you have an essay title you’d like to suggest, email it to BatDocBlog@gmail.com.  You might see your essay title in one of my books, and I’ll be sure to thank you in the book for it!

The Duster and Tex Show Episode 131 #140805


Duster and Tex LogoThis week, Duster and Tex discuss how the return of Duster’s ex girlfriend Misty changed Duster for a short period of time. While Duster is off with Misty, Tex cleaned the gutters on Mrs. Crowder’s house. Then Tex is confused when things take a real change and by the end of the show Duster has changed Misty back to her old ways.

Follow Duster and Tex on Twitter @DusterandTex!

The Duster and Tex Show Episode 131 – Click to Listen or Download

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 131, Segment 1
Misty Changes Duster

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 131, Segment 2
Cleaning Mrs. Crowder’s Gutters

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 131, Segment 3
What the Hell is Going On?

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 131, Segment 4
Misty’s Back to Normal

The Duster and Tex Show Episode 130 #140729


Duster and Tex LogoThis week Duster and Tex discuss why their hometown of Gastonia, North Carolina ain’t such a bad town.  Then Duster shares the story of losing a bunch of money at the local fair.  The boys join a beer of the month club.  And Duster’s ex-girlfriend Misty returns to the ranch.

Follow Duster and Tex on Twitter @DusterandTex!

The Duster and Tex Show Episode 130 – Click to Listen or Download

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 130, Segment 1
Gastonia Ain’t So Bad

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 130, Segment 2
Losing Money at the Fair

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 130, Segment 3
Beer of the Month

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 130, Segment 4
The Return of Misty

The Duster and Tex Show Episode 127 #140708


Duster and Tex LogoThis week on the show, next door neighbors Troy and Melanie Hawthorne head out of town and decide to let Duster and Tex baby babysit their kids, Aldridge and Hayden. The boys share the story of taking the kids to school, playing video games, breaking stuff, and a trip to the hardware store to fix what they broke.

Follow Duster and Tex on Twitter @DusterandTex!

The Duster and Tex Show Episode 127 – Click to Listen or Download

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 127, Segment 1
School Trip Part 1

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 127, Segment 2
School Trip Part 2

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 127, Segment 3
School Trip Part 3

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 127, Segment 4
Weekend with the Hawthorne Kids

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