This week the Sci-Fried Eggs broadcast live from Geek Out in Asheville, NC! The Eggs talk with Charlie Caine’s Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse author Julianne Jackson and artist Stewart Williams. Then the Eggs chat with The Walking Dead zombie actor Wallace Krebs. And Doc and Chuck round out the show chatting with the inspirational author I.R. Harris!
Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 110, Segment 1
Julianne Jackson and Stewart Williams Part 1
Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 110, Segment 2
Julianne Jackson and Stewart Williams Part 2
Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 110, Segment 3
Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 110, Segment 4
I.R. Harris Part 1
Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 110, Segment 5
I.R. Harris Part 2
This week 5 Minute Delay Radio brings you a rebroadcast of the Sci-Fried Eggs while their fate is decided. In this rebroadcast The Sci-Fried Eggs broadcast live from Geek Out in Asheville, NC! Special guests Amber Nash and Lucky Yates, a.k.a. Pam Poovey and Dr. Krieger from the hit FX show Archer, stop by and chat. And Doc and Chuck discuss Iron Man 3.
Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 101, Segment 1
Rebroadcast: Amber Nash and Lucky Yates Part 1
Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 101, Segment 2
Rebroadcast: Amber Nash and Lucky Yates Part 2
Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 101, Segment 3
Rebroadcast: Amber Nash and Lucky Yates Part 3
Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 101, Segment 4
Rebroadcast: Pam Poovey and Dr. Krieger
Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 101, Segment 5
Rebroadcast: IronMan 3
This week the Sci-Fried Eggs are on the road broadcasting from the Bathurst Manor Radio Production Unit Truck. Chuck and Cher start with some Doctor Who News. Then the Eggs discuss some new safety technology. The Eggs bring you an interview with Todd Houff from Geek Out. Chuck and Doc talk about their Netflix account. And the Eggs discuss some of the best examples of real science in science-fiction films!
Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 72, Segment 1
Doctor Who News
Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 72, Segment 2
Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 72, Segment 3
Todd Houff Interview
Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 72, Segment 4
Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 72, Segment 5
Science in Sci-Fi Films
I’ve been working at this job for well over nine months. It’s been long enough that I could have had a kid here (and long enough to know that Trisha did have a kid and is now on maternity leave). And none of my coworkers know me. They see me every day and none of them know who I am. I really thought that taking a job at a baltimization plant would be where I would excel as a person. A job where I would have room to learn and grow. But that’s not the case. For some reason everyone thinks I’m this other guy named Dirk Hirder.
Now don’t get me wrong, this Dirk guy is clearly well-liked. Everyone says hey to me all the time. I get invited to all kinds of parties and get-togethers. All the ladies wink and smile at me. It kind of makes me wonder at times why Dirk doesn’t work here anymore. It makes me wonder why Dirk left (I assume he left. I can’t imagine as well-liked as he seems to be that he got fired). And then I guess I also have to wonder how everyone doesn’t know that I’m not Dirk. But those are all questions that are probably better left unanswered because having people at work think you are someone else is the best thing ever!
Granted it was kind of uncomfortable for the first couple weeks. People would call me Dirk and I would correct them. And then they would laugh and say, “Dirk, you’re so funny!” So I eventually decided to lean into it. And I leaned hard. Because Dirk always says if you’re gonna do something, do it big! Dirk does all kinds of fun stuff I never do. Dirk goes sail fishing. Dirk has been cliff diving. When I took a week off to go see my aunt and cousin in Cleveland and spent the whole week watching reruns of Mama’s Family and The Golden Girls, Dirk went big game hunting in the heart of Africa with Lance Bass.
One weekend I was out in the yard planting some new daffodils in one of my flower beds, and, when I stood up, I lost my balance and fell directly on a hand rake, which jabbed a pretty decent size hole in my side. I went to the hospital and they patched me up. Luckily, that was the same weekend of the famous running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain. So I bet you can guess what Dirk did that weekend. That’s right, that lucky sonofabitch ran with the bulls and ended up getting gently tagged by one of them. Dirk considers it a sacred scar of the experience of living life to the fullest.
And if you saw my cubicle, you’d immediately realize that I’ve spent quite a lot of money on trophies over the past eight and a half months. That’s really Chase’s fault. Chase is a real stickler (a-hole). It all started one Monday when Dirk was chatting with Cindy, Monica, and Pam at the water cooler and telling them about how he had won this big bowling tournament over the weekend (Kingpin was on TBS). So the ladies were all impressed and giggling when Chase walked up and said, “Oh, so you won a bowling tournament? Where’s your trophy then, Hirder?” Well, that afternoon, I went to Eduardo’s Tienda de Trofeos near the flea market and got the biggest bowling trophy that he had! And since I buy a lot of guacamole and chapulines from his sister’s bodega, Eduardo engraved the trophy for free! And the look on Chase’s face when I brought in that 36 inch trophy to proudly display in my cubicle was priceless. In fact, I sat the trophy on the top of my cubicle cabinet, so the little bowler guy on top of the trophy almost touches the ceiling. It’s like a little miniature Chrysler building towering over all the other cubicles in of our office. Since then, Dirk has won 38 other trophies for various events ranging from unicycle hockey to bog snorkeling. So take that, Chase! Cross Dirk Hirder and you get burned!
Then there is all the female attention Dirk gets. I don’t sleep around, but Dirk has
slept with casually dated eleven different women at work in the last six months. Yup, you did the math right. That’s a different girl almost every two weeks! Yessirre! Dirk is quite the ladies’ man. And the best part is there hasn’t been any drama. All the girls sleep with Dirk for a couple weeks and then go through this phase where they break up with him because they feel they aren’t good enough for a great guy like Dirk. And then I, uh, I mean, Dirk gets to be all heart-broken so the next lucky lady can swoop in and console him. And I’ve found that a woman consoling a heart-broken Dirk Hirder is a one-way ticket to make-out town!
So to sum up the last nine months of my life at my job, my coworkers have no idea whatsoever who I am. And oddly enough, I’m totally okay with that. Or, more to the point, Dirk Hirder is totally okay with that.
♠ The title for this essay is courtesy of Brandon Echols. If you have an essay title you’d like to suggest, email it to BatDocBlog@gmail.com. You might see your essay title in one of my books, and I’ll be sure to thank you in the book for it!
This week, Duster and Tex discuss how the return of Duster’s ex girlfriend Misty changed Duster for a short period of time. While Duster is off with Misty, Tex cleaned the gutters on Mrs. Crowder’s house. Then Tex is confused when things take a real change and by the end of the show Duster has changed Misty back to her old ways.
Follow Duster and Tex on Twitter @DusterandTex!
The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 131, Segment 1
Misty Changes Duster
The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 131, Segment 2
Cleaning Mrs. Crowder’s Gutters
The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 131, Segment 3
What the Hell is Going On?
The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 131, Segment 4
Misty’s Back to Normal
This week Duster and Tex discuss why their hometown of Gastonia, North Carolina ain’t such a bad town. Then Duster shares the story of losing a bunch of money at the local fair. The boys join a beer of the month club. And Duster’s ex-girlfriend Misty returns to the ranch.
Follow Duster and Tex on Twitter @DusterandTex!
The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 130, Segment 1
Gastonia Ain’t So Bad
The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 130, Segment 2
Losing Money at the Fair
The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 130, Segment 3
Beer of the Month
The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 130, Segment 4
The Return of Misty
This week on the show, next door neighbors Troy and Melanie Hawthorne head out of town and decide to let Duster and Tex baby babysit their kids, Aldridge and Hayden. The boys share the story of taking the kids to school, playing video games, breaking stuff, and a trip to the hardware store to fix what they broke.
Follow Duster and Tex on Twitter @DusterandTex!
The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 127, Segment 1
School Trip Part 1
The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 127, Segment 2
School Trip Part 2
The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 127, Segment 3
School Trip Part 3
The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 127, Segment 4
Weekend with the Hawthorne Kids
Wow, almost noon. I really should call in to work and let someone know I’m not going to make it today. Or, by this time, the manager at Shoney’s already thinks I’m going to be a no-call-no-show. But I’ll show him. I’m going to call anyway just so he knows I’m not that kind of shitty person who is a no-call-no-show. He might call me lazy, unmotivated, apathetic, and irresponsible, but I’ll be damned if he’ll be able to call me discourteous. Wow, 37 missed calls and 89 unread texts. It must have been crazy at Shoney’s this morning. But why wouldn’t it be? A delicious breakfast buffet with over 17 items for $7.99 with drink included! What a deal. I had better check these messages and call in sick.
Hmmm, seems like a lot of these messages are asking if I’ve seen the news about the end of the world. Something about all life on the planet ending. At least that’s what the first few voicemails were about. I just deleted the rest when I found out they were all about the same thing. And if you want to talk about discourteous, how dare no one at Shoney’s answer the phone. I tried calling twice and let it ring for 5 or 6 times each time. Whoever is at the front is supposed to answer the phone after the third ring. Amber must be working. She shows up, sure, but she just doesn’t give a damn about answering the phone. Anyway, I left a message, so that should be good enough. Note to self, print out a fake doctor’s note for tomorrow. Whew, I sure am hungry. Pulling an all-nighter watching Mad About You on Netflix might not have been the best idea I’ve ever had, but I’ve always regretted not giving that show a real chance. Time to find some lunch.
The news sure is on about this end of the world thing. It’s on every channel. So as not to ruin my whole lunch experience with the dread and over-reaction of the news outlets, I watched another episode of Mad About You. Only 4 episodes left. I should be able to finish up the whole series this evening. I kind of know how I feel about it, but I’m going to reserve judgment until I’ve seen the whole thing. I also really enjoyed my bacon sandwich. But that was the last of my bacon, so I’ll need to go to the store sometime this afternoon. Hold on, the house phone is ringing. I should probably answer that since not a lot of people have that number.
Geez, mom sure is long-winded. And she is super worried about the end of the world. But that’s how the news media is. Get people wound up over a lot of nothing. Y2K, Mayan Calendar, need I go on? Anyway, she’s super worried because this time the news says the end of the world is “for real.” I’ll check it on Snopes.com later. All this hub-bub is wearing me out. I think I’ll take a quick 30 minute nap before I go to the store.
I don’t think my alarm clock is working properly, if at all. It works when I set it, but I don’t think it’s working when I’m asleep. Anyway, I was going to go to the store, but there’s a lot of sirens and what sounds like gunshots outside. And I don’t live in the best of neighborhoods to begin with. But hey, the rent is great and my apartment building is one of the newest in the complex. Not to mention all the people in my particular building seem to be pretty decent people. Except for maybe Tom. I got to meet him when he moved in and had to go door-to-door to tell everyone he was on the sexual offenders list. But he showed me pictures and that girl totally looked like she was 18, so I don’t really blame him. And I agree with him that it was Applebee’s fault for letting her sit at the bar to being with. Anyway, I’m going watch another episode of Mad About You and see if things settle down a little. Then off to the store!
Only 3 episodes of Mad About You left! I’m so excited to see what happens in the series finale! I also watched the first little bit of the 6 o’clock news. They seem pretty serious about this end of the world thing. I couldn’t find anything on Snopes.com. And there were a lot of news websites that were talking about it too. The news also mentioned something about gas thieving and staying in your house. But I really do need to go to the store and I should probably really be at work tomorrow. I’ve already been out three days this week and it’s only Thursday. Okay, I’m going to make a quick list and head to the store.
Well, apparently my car is out of gas. I could have swore I had like half a tank. Or maybe it was those “gas thieves” that the news was talking about. Ha ha, gas thieves. The news over-reacts about everything. I was going to see if one of my neighbors could give me a ride to the gas station to fill up a couple empty milk jugs I found, but no one seems to be home. In fact, Mark and Kendra went somewhere and just left their door wide open. I closed it because I didn’t want anyone stealing anything. They probably just got stoned, got hungry, and went to Denny’s and forgot to close the door when they left. Silly Mark and Kendra. Anyway, I guess I’m staying here until someone else gets home and can give me a ride to the gas station. Also, I really need to talk to the landlord. The parking lot is a mess. It looks like 40 people moved out all at once and just dropped stuff all over the parking lot. Seriously, I pay like $250 a month and the parking lot looks like the apocalypse is coming. Unacceptable.
What the crap! I just got off the phone with my friend Brian and he told me there was a meteor heading straight for Earth and it was going to hit at like midnight tonight! And we are like right in the blast zone! No one could take the time to freaking call and tell me?! Seriously?! My friends are freaking worthless. Thank god Brian isn’t a total butthole friend. And he said he just found out from his cousin who heard it from his sister and she found out about it because her roommate is dating this guy who works at NASA that she met on eHarmony. And he said that NASA has know about this meteor for like a month. Thanks a lot news media for being so wrapped up in all your over-hyped crap that you couldn’t mention the really important story that really affects people! I should really call my mom and let her know. I’ll give her a call later though. I’m really hungry right now. I get hungry when I get stressed out.
Well, apparently none of my neighbors were coming home any time soon to take me to get gas for my car, so I decided I would have to scavenge for food. I’m glad I didn’t lock Mark and Kendra’s apartment. They had like a third of a bag of tortilla chips. They were the triangle chips, and although I like the round ones, one can’t be too choosy when scavenging your stoner neighbors’ apartment. As much as they snack, I would have guessed there would have been more food in their house. Anyway, I also found a can of Vienna sausages that had fallen behind my toaster. Total stroke of luck. I think I’ll enjoy this wonderful, and I use this term loosely, “feast” and watch the last 3 episodes of Mad About You.
WTF! Netflix isn’t working. “We are having trouble playing this title right now.” Bull! Crap! It’s the eve of freaking destruction. Seriously, how many people can be watching Netflix right now?! It seems like most people are running around shooting guns and looting from all the noise outside. I’m like the only sane person who is staying in for the apocalypse. But I’ve always been more of a homebody. But anyway, no Netflix means no Mad About You. I only had 3 episodes left. How am I supposed to find out what happened to Paul and Jamie?! I guess I could read it on the Internet, but that just takes all the fun out of it. In any case, thanks a lot Netflix. Evening ruined.
There is literally nothing on TV. All the TV channels are off the air. Not sure what that’s all about. I know a meteor is headed this way to end all life as we know it, but that’s no reason to stop broadcasting TV. And now the power just went out! This is stupid!
Luckily the sky is pretty lit up with this meteor headed our way. Guess we are getting more light because we are right in the strike zone. Small miracles, right? Mark and Kendra might not have had any food in their apartment, but stoners sure do seem to love candles. I found like 40 of them and a ton of lighters. So since I’m pretty certain they aren’t coming back in the next three and a half hours, I moved all the candles to my apartment and lit them up. It looks like I’m sitting on the set of Temple of Doom. I think Temple of Doom isn’t as bad an Indiana Jones film as everyone makes it out to be. Sort of like Star Trek V. I could really watch both films before the apocalypse, but since the power is out, it looks like I’m not watching any DVDs either. Maybe I can find a good book to read.
Whew. That was an unplanned nap. Reading always makes me sleepy. And thinking back, Moon People by Dale M. Courtney was probably not the most exciting book I could have picked up. Well, not much time left now. I wonder if this thing will really hit at 12:09 like the news is saying. Brian said his cousin’s sister’s roommate’s boyfriend who works at NASA said 12:09 was probably pretty accurate. Of course, it’s not like that guy’s a rocket scientist. Brian said his cousin’s sister said the guy was just the overnight janitor there. But janitors do tend to know all the gossip. And I bet all those NASA scientists gossip about things like meteors hitting the planet all the time. Well, I think I’ll drag my couch out into the apartment parking lot to watch the show.
Why can’t someone design a stupid couch that will fit through an apartment door?! I’ve been horsing around trying to get my couch out my front door for like 15 minutes. And of course when I decide to abandon moving the couch the sonofabitch gets twisted and stuck. And since it was wedged in the door frame, I had to crawl over the couch to get through the front door to get back into my damned apartment. Stupid ass couch. I’ve never liked that couch anyway. So once I got back into the apartment, I took one of my dining room chairs out the back door and had to walk all the way around the building. Then I forgot my drink, but I’ll be damned if I’m walking back around the apartment complex or climbing over that couch again and missing the show.
Well, this meteor is clearly going to be late. I’m really thirsty. I’m going back around the building to get my drink. I hope I don’t miss it while I’m–