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Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 106 #150513


sci-fried-eggs-logoThe Sci-Fried Eggs are broadcasting again this week from Studio B at Bathurst Manor.  The Eggs start by discussing DeathSwitch.com.  Then Doc and Chuck talk about some video game stories that are better than blockbuster movies.  Chuck brings you some Suicide Squad news.  The Eggs give you an X-Con warmup interview with Bob Camp and Michael Rooker.  And while they had some time off, Doc and Chuck did some catching up on Listener Letters!

Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 106 – Click to Listen or Download

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 106, Segment 1
DeathSwitch.com

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 106, Segment 2
Video Game Stories That Are Better Than Blockbuster Movies

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 106, Segment 3
Suicide Squad News

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 106, Segment 4
X-Con Warmup: Bob Camp and Michael Rooker Interview

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 106, Segment 5
Listener Letters #4

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Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 104 #150429


sci-fried-eggs-logoThis week 5 Minute Delay Radio brings you a rebroadcast of the Sci-Fried Eggs while their fate is decided.  In this rebroadcast the Sci-Fried Eggs broadcast from Crystal Coast Con in Cape Carteret, North Carolina.  The Eggs start by chatting with Twilight actor Rick Mora.  Then the beautiful horror actress Barbara Nedeljakova stops by.  The Eggs have a blast with some more of The Walking Dead cast, Michael Koske and Dango Nguyen.  And finally, the wonderful Marina Sirtis, Counselor Deanna Troi from Star Trek: The Next Generation, spends a couple segments with the Eggs and answers The Half Dozen!

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Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 104 – Click to Listen or Download

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 104, Segment 1
Rebroadcast: Rick Mora

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 104, Segment 2
Rebroadcast: Barbara Nedeljakova

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 104, Segment 3
Rebroadcast: Michael Koske and Danjo Nguyen

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 104, Segment 4
Rebroadcast: Marina Sirtis Part 1

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 104, Segment 5
Rebroadcast: Marina Sirtis Part 2

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Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 102 #150415


sci-fried-eggs-logoThis week 5 Minute Delay Radio brings you a rebroadcast of the Sci-Fried Eggs while their fate is decided.  In this rebroadcast The Sci-Fried Eggs broadcast live from XCon World VI in Myrtle Beach, SC!  Doc and Chuck discuss Star Trek Into Darkness and get into a heated discussion over the new Klingons.  Special guest Camden Toy of Buffy and Angel fame visits.  Doc and Chuck are entranced by the beautiful Tiger Roxx and Jenn Martin of Purrrlesque Burlesque.  Then IronE Singleton, T-Dog of The Walking Dead, stops by the broadcast.  And the man who has been to every XCon, Ren and Stimpy creator Bob Camp sits down with the Sci-Fried Eggs.  And somewhere in the show, Michael Rooker, Merle from The Walking Dead, shows up and tells us whether people still try to give him chocolate covered pretzels!

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Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 102 – Click to Listen or Download

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 102, Segment 1
Rebroadcast: Star Trek Into Darkness Review

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 102, Segment 2
Rebroadcast: Camden Toy

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 102, Segment 3
Rebroadcast: Purrrlesque: Tiger Roxx and Jenn Martin

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 102, Segment 4
Rebroadcast: IronE Singleton

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 102, Segment 5
Rebroadcast: Bob Camp with Special Guest Michael Rooker

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Times You Don’t Want to be the Center of Attention


People love attention.  And people love being the center of attention.  I know first hand.  I used to have a slightly better than moderately rated overnight radio show.  And being the center of attention can be a wonderful thing.  That’s why shows like American Idol and America’s Got Talent and America’s Funniest Videos do so well.  It’s literally the reason Tom Bergeron still has a job.  But for all you attention hogs out there (you know who you are), there are times when being the center of attention is not the thing you want at all.  In fact, it is those times that being the center of attention is the worst thing that could possibly happen to you.  Let me give you some examples.

• Court – That’s right.  Unless you are getting paid to be there, court is not a place where you want to be the center of attention.  The judge, the bailiff, the prosecuting attorney, the defense attorney, members of the jury, head juror, courtroom artist, stenographer, even the person who wins the case, you know what all those people have in common?  That’s right!  They’re all getting paid to be there.  And if you’re the center of attention in a courtroom and you’re not drawing some kind of paycheck, then I can guarantee that’s bad news for you.

• Anything involving the cops – Let’s say you’re selling “merchandise” out of the back of your van in a “shady” neighborhood.  And let’s say you’re “meeting your sales goals for the month.”  You’re the center of attention with your particular brand of “clientele.”  And you’re stackin’ smackers like a brick layer, so that’s the right kind of attention.   But then the Five-0 rolls up on you and “da man” gets all up in your grill and starts damaging your cool.  Your “clientele” all “run away like they done stole somethin’,” so you’re not making any money anymore.  So now the “law-enforcement authorities” are on the scene and you’re the center of attention because of some misunderstanding about “fencing” goods.  So this quickly turns into another situation where if you’re not on the clock, then you do not want to be the center of attention.

• Explosions – There’s no questions about it, explosions are awesome.  Michael Bay and any eight-year-old kid can tell you that.  Whether you are blowing up Barbie dolls or G.I. Joes (if you’re an eight-year-old kid) or cars, trucks, trains, ships, buildings, aliens, robots, alien robots, pyramids, tanks, battleships, small villages, large cities, space stations, and everything else that will and won’t blow up (if you’re Michael Bay), the point here is when that fiery concussion wave of rich, black smoke and smoldering debris erupts in that split-second of destructive heavenly bliss, if you’re not getting paid to make that explosion happen, you do not want to be the center of attention.  So aside from building demolition crews, fireworks display coordinators, pyrotechnicians, military bombardiers, and certain chemists, being the center of attention after any kind of explosion is not going to fair well in your favor.

• Weddings – Unless you’re the bride, being the center of attention at a wedding is going to end up as a fist fight in a church parking lot or getting shived by the bride in a crowded reception hall.  Trust me, I know about both of these.  So unless you are getting paid to be at that wedding, say as the minister or the DJ, or the bride (let’s face it, having someone pay for your ridiculously expensive wedding is just like printing money), then you do not want to be the center of attention.  And often, the bride shiving you is only the tip of that iceberg of trouble.  Wait until her brother who was in the Marines finds out and demonstrates how he can break your car windshield with his bare fist and proves he can shove you into a trash can.  And then her father who is an active member of the NRA shows you his impressive bullet collection by displaying them in the side of your powder blue Kia Sorento with the already busted windshield.  When they say a wedding is a bride’s day, let her have that day and, for your own well being (and the well-being of your powder blue Kia Sorento), let her be the center of attention.

I could really go on and on with scenarios, instances, and times where you don’t want to be the center of attention, but what this really boils down to is, unless you are getting paid or compensated in some way, being the center of attention is bad news.  So when you find yourself in a situation where you want to be the center of attention, just ask what you are getting out of it first, and if that answer is fame or fortune (or at the very least hourly minimum wage), then, by all means, be the center of attention like a boss.

 

♠ The title for this essay is courtesy of Brandon Echols.  If you have an essay title you’d like to suggest, email it to BatDocBlog@gmail.com.  You might see your essay title in one of my books, and I’ll be sure to thank you in the book for it!

 

An Open Letter to the “Future”


Dear Future (currently the present),

I’m a little miffed at you.  Actually that’s a lie.  I’m a little more than miffed.  I’m angry, but the kind of angry where someone cuts in front of you in traffic when you clearly didn’t want to let them into the traffic flow.  That kind of angry.  The kind of angry where you get mad and use swears but have no intention of actually doing anything about it.  But that’s my issue, Future, not yours.  Here are the issues I have with you.

I’m not going to candy-coat this at all.  You’re a flat-out liar.  You promised all these amazing things, and you haven’t delivered on any of them.  Seriously, I don’t know what you were smoking in the ’60s to come up with all these outrageous claims, but, Future, you should have been in politics because you talked really big and produced very little.  And I’m not talking about the big things.  I’m talking about the little stuff.  Let’s discuss, shall we?

Okay, I went to Dairy Queen the other day to get a Confetti Cake Blizzard®.  And the rest of my afternoon/evening was ruined because guess what Dairy Queen was out of?  That’s right, confetti cake!  My big question here is how?  Come on, Future!  You’re telling me that we are still dealing with restaurants running out of stuff?  For reals?!  I mean, seriously, everything is like computer controlled now.  Inventory is checked by computers.  Things get scanned.  It’s super hard to steal office supplies from your job anymore.  And you’re telling me that we haven’t designed a system that alerts a restaurant when they are running low on something.  Or better yet, just automatically orders it!  I’ll tell you this, 1-800-Contacts knows exactly when I should be out of contacts.  And the DMV sure does keep up with when my vehicle registration is due.  And I don’t know if you’ve been to your local DMV lately, but those people couldn’t give a shit if you were on fire (I’m guessing their apathy is a result of their job environment.  I’m sure DMV employees are very nice people in general).  So if the DMV can keep up with something, Dairy Queen and other places (Cheddar’s, I’m mostly looking at you) need to get their act together too.  Future, I blame this issue on you.

Also, have you not designed something to deal with the common cold yet?  Or I’ll even ease back on this one, Future, and just leave it at not designing something to keep our noses from running.  Honestly, why are we still dealing with runny noses?  That’s kids stuff.  It’s not something adults should have to deal with!  All this from the same planet that practically eliminated Polio, and we can’t keep our noses from running.  Future, I think you’ve been too focused on dealing with big issues to handle the things that the planet really needs.  Yeah, the space program is great, and I know you have really been on about that since the ’50s, but I’d trade velcro and weightlessness (both things which I rarely use) for not having to blow my nose every 30 seconds any day of any week.

And where are we on robots and artificial intelligence?  We’ve been working on these things for years and we still don’t have anything close to a robot that can handle household chores or yard work?  You gave us the Roomba, which is okay, I guess, until it goes under your couch.  Then you never see it again.  You haven’t even given us an R2-D2, and that’s essentially just a big trash can on wheels.  The best we’ve gotten so far is a robot that can dance.  Dancing robots.  Great.  Fantastic.  You’re basing the entire research plan for artificial intelligence on imitating part of a Michael Jackson video (Billie Jean if you were wondering).  At this point, I’d be happy with a Chani from Devil Girl from Mars.

Now I know this was Hanna-Barbera’s promise, and not yours, Future, but where are we on a car that folds into a suitcase?  You’ve had how many years to figure this out, and the best you’ve brought us is the auto-folding side mirrors for parking?  That’s it?  We haven’t even moved forward with car door technology.  Scissor doors, pocket doors, rotary drop doors (look up rotary drop doors; they are super cool), Future, you just looked at all of those and decided that the best solution to door dings is a half-inch piece of rubber molding.  Way to phone it in.  It’s like you didn’t even try.

Granted, you have been working pretty hard lately on driver-less cars, and that’s better than nothing.  And I’ll give you a pass on not having a flying car, because, let’s face it, that is probably the best call for everyone involved.  People have a hard enough time driving in two dimensions, much less trying to handle three.  And I’ll also give you a free pass on not designing a workable jet pack.  I only know like maybe seven people on the planet who are smart/responsible enough to give a jet pack to.  So good call on sitting on the jet pack.  But with all the other stuff, I’d really like to see a little more effort on your part.

Cordially yours,
-Doc

Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 68 #140820


sci-fried-eggs-logoThis week the Sci-Fried Eggs broadcast from the Food Court at Bathurst Manor.  The Eggs start by discussing the rise of boutique theaters.  Then Chuck reviews two movies, Dragonball Z: Battle of Gods and Wish I Was Here.  The Eggs talk about the Union Street Guest Hotel and their odd policy and Artist and Producer Michael Gross is leading a campaign to Flip Cancer.  And then the Eggs give you some back to school geek tips.

Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 68 – Click to Listen or Download

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 68, Segment 1
Boutique Theaters

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 68, Segment 2
Dragonball Z: Battle of Gods and Wish I Was Here Movie Reviews

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 68, Segment 3
The Union Street Guest Hotel Policy

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 68, Segment 4
Michael Gross and Flip Cancer

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 68, Segment 5
Back to School Geek Tips

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Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 62 #140709


sci-fried-eggs-logoThis week the Sci-Fried Eggs bring you a Best of the Sci-Fried Eggs for the July 4th holiday.  The Eggs bring you a segment about who would win if Han Solo fought Malcolm Reynolds, interviews from Kandyse McClure, Michael Koske, Danjo Nguyen, John Hartness, and a round of Sci-Fried Star Wars Trivia!

Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 62 – Click to Listen or Download

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 62, Segment 1
Best of the Sci-Fried Eggs: Who Would Win: Han Solo or Malcolm Reynolds

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 62, Segment 2
Best of the Sci-Fried Eggs: Kandyse McClure

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 62, Segment 3
Best of the Sci-Fried Eggs: Michael Koske and Danjo Nguyen

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 62, Segment 4
Best of the Sci-Fried Eggs: Sci-Fried Trivia Star Wars

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 62, Segment 5
Best of the Sci-Fried Eggs: John Hartness

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Quote of the Day #140425


“When he got sauced and said something maybe he shouldn’t have, she had no problem cocking back her arm and punching him right in the face.  That usually shut him up, but not always, and they used to have some terrible brawls.  Nowadays, we call that sort of thing a ‘dysfunctional relationship,’ but back then we just called it love.”

Quote of the Day #140411


“And Gary SPECIFICALLY told me NOT TO DRIVE HIS CAR.  Because he said I am–and this is his word, not mine–‘untrustworthy.'”

Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 49 #140409


sci-fried-eggs-logoThis week the Sci-Fried Eggs broadcast live from Lexing-Con in Lexington, NC!  The Eggs discuss some movie news and then talk with Lexing-Con Creator and Con Chair Marcia Myers.  The Eggs interview creator of Brewster Rockit: Space Guy!, Tim Rickard.  Writer Dan Johnson and weekday artist Marcus Hamilton talk about working on Dennis the Menace and newspaper comics.  The Eggs have a special Disney Princesses version of Cosplay Roulette.  And the Eggs talk with the founder and editor of Back Issue magazine, Michael Eury.

Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 49 – Click to Listen or Download

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 49, Segment 1
Movie News and Lexing-Con Chair Marcia Myers

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 49, Segment 2
Tim Rickard

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 49, Segment 3
Dan Johnson and Marcus Hamilton

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 49, Segment 4
Cosplay Roulette: Disney Princesses Edition

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 49, Segment 5
Michael Eury

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