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Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 108 #150527

sci-fried-eggs-logoThis week the Sci-Fried Eggs bring you a second edition broadcast live from X-Con in Myrtle Beach, SC!  The Eggs start by catching up with author and friend of the show Jim Bernheimer.  Then the Eggs sit down and chat with actor, voiceover artist, and friend of the show Jeffrey Breslauer.  And finally, the Eggs are part of an amazing heartfelt interview with Nicholas Brendon about his time on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and his struggles with addiction and his path to recovery!

Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 108 – Click to Listen or Download

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 108, Segment 1
Live from X-Con in Myrtle Beach Part 2/Jim Bernheimer

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 108, Segment 2
Jeffrey Breslauer Part 1

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 108, Segment 3
Jeffrey Breslauer Part 2

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 108, Segment 4
Nicholas Brendon Part 1

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 108, Segment 5
Nicholas Brendon Part 2


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Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 107 #150520

sci-fried-eggs-logoThis week the Sci-Fried Eggs broadcast live from X-Con in Myrtle Beach, SC!  The Eggs start by sitting down with Continuum‘s and The 100‘s Richard Harmon.  And then the Eggs are part of a Clerks reunion as they chat with Dante and Veronica, Brian O’Halloran and Marilyn Ghigliotti!

Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 107 – Click to Listen or Download

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 107, Segment 1
Live from X-Con in Myrtle Beach/Richard Harmon Part 1

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 107, Segment 2
Richard Harmon Part 2

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 107, Segment 3
Brian O’Halloran

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 107, Segment 4
Marilyn Ghigliotti Part 1

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 107, Segment 5
Marilyn Ghigliotti Part 2


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How I Got These Scars

So my blood pressure is just fine but my cholesterol is a little high?  Don’t those balance each other out?  Oh, they don’t?  Look, I’m not a doctor like you.  I don’t know these things.  Is this something I should be worried about?  No?  Then why are you even telling me?  Just so I’ll know.  Gotcha.  Well, thank you for letting me know about it.  What?  One more question.  Sure.  Ask away, doc.  Oh, where did I get all my scars?  That’s a great question.  I’m glad you asked.  And, yeah, I suppose they are all pretty obvious when I’m sitting here naked.  Speaking of which, can I tell you about them while I’m getting dressed?  Don’t get me wrong, I like a good meat freezer, but you guys are overdoing it a little here.  Seriously, your air-conditioning bill must be stupid expensive.  But then again, I guess you probably never turn on the heat in the winter so it all balances out.  Oh, right, my scars.  Sure.  Well, let’s see.

I guess let’s start with the most obviously ones on my forehead.  The one on the left side of my forehead was when I stopped myself with the edge of a street sign while riding my bike down a steep grade.  I know it sounds terrible, but you should’ve seen the street sign.  That thing was bent all to hell.  And bloody!  Man, was it bloody.  Your forehead bleeds A LOT!  What am I saying, you’re a doctor.  You probably already knew that.  Bet they taught you that at John Hopscotch University or wherever you went to doctor school.  It’s John what?  Whatever.

Anyway, this other forehead scar I got from headbutting a Stormtrooper.  Yeah, a Stormtrooper.  Have you ever seen Star Wars?  Yeah, you know those white guys?  No, the guys with the laser swords are the Jedi.  And they’re called lightsabers.  Yeah, they do look like they’re dressed in bath robes.  But the guys in the white armor, you remember them?  Yeah, those guys are Stormtroopers.  How did I meet them?  No, I didn’t work on the movie.  I was at this comic book convention and there were a bunch of people dressed up as Stormtroopers.  Yeah, it’s apparently a big thing.  They have this whole 700 Club they are in.  So I said to one of them, “Aren’t you a little short for a Stormtrooper?” which is a line from the movie.  Well, she didn’t think it was funny.  Yeah, she.  Yeah, girls dress up as guys all the time at comic book conventions.  I don’t judge.  Anyway, she sucker punched me in the side and I headbutted her as a natural reaction.  Those plastic helmet crack pretty easily from a solid headbutt, but, interestingly enough, cracked plastic is apparently really sharp.  And again, foreheads bleed a lot.  Yeah, the helmet protected her pretty well, but I got this forehead scar and broke my nose.  Broken noses bleed a lot too.  But again, you’re a doctor, so you probably already knew that.  No, she didn’t get in trouble.  I got kicked out of the comic book convention for causing a ruckus.  She felt bad about it.  We ended up dating for a while until she got into Attack on Titan cosplay and posting on Reddit.  Some people are into that kind of thing, but it was just too weird for me.

This scar on my elbow is probably my favorite.  I was visiting New York City and I was riding the subway.  I know, you have to ride the subway if you visit New York City.  Anyway, as I was getting off the subway I got pushed down by Kevin Meaney.  I landed on my elbow and broke it and ended up getting a compound fracture.  The bone popped right out of my arm.  It was totally gross.  And Kevin kept right on going.  Who’s Kevin Meaney?  The guy who would always say “That’s not right!”  Yeah, that guy!  Oh, I don’t know what he’s doing now, but a few years ago he was pushing people around the subways near Tribeca.

This scar on my index finger is from when I dropped my lucky marble down the garbage disposal.  This scar near my ankle is from a deer attack.  The one across my lower back is from a dessert bar fight.  This one on my left side is where I got shot with an arrow at Ren Faire.  The one on the back of my left knee is from a patio furniture fire.  The one on my chest is from a board game night accident.  I’ve got one on the top of my head where I got hit with an inflatable raft.  And the one on the side of my neck is from when I got my head stuck in a hay baler.

This scar here on my upper thigh is from one of my ex-wives.  The scar just above my shoulder blade is from the same ex-wife.  And so is this one on my left forearm.  She was clearly a stabber.  I eventually had to get a gun safe for all the knives in the house.  And these three small scars near my shoulder, that’s where she stabbed me with a salad fork at The Cheesecake Factory.  What?  Oh, yeah, it didn’t work out.  We got divorced.  She’s actually went to prison for lunging at the judge and stabbing a deputy with a Bic Clic Stic pen during our divorce hearing.  I think she got five years.  But I got a letter from the court that she’s out on good behavior, which I seriously doubt.  She probably slept her way out of prison.  I don’t know.  I guess it’s a thing.  You can sleep your way up the corporate ladder, makes sense you could sleep your way out of prison too.

You’re right, doc, I probably am lucky to be alive.  Makes that high cholesterol not seem so bad.  What?  Oh, yeah, my pinky toe.  I lost that in a snow shoveling competition.


Why Robocop is a Better Movie Than The Departed

I’ve been hearing a lot of people go on and on about how great a movie The Departed is.  And I always ask these loud and obnoxious people if they have seen the movie Robocop.  Most of them say no.  And I proceed to tell them how Robocop is a much better movie than The Departed.  Usually about 12 to 16 seconds into my dissertation about the awesomeness of Robocop, someone starts to argue back, a punch gets thrown, and then a full-on fight breaks out.  And because I’m tired of dodging punches from half-drunk women and their husbands, I’m going to just explain why Robocop is a better movie than The Departed and just print some slips of paper with the link on it to hand out.

Now I’ve never seen The Departed.  But I’ve heard a lot of people talk about it and I’ve got the general gist of it.  And I can tell you that Robocop is a way better movie.  I mean, let’s face it, no matter what the storyline of The Departed is, a man getting turned into a bullet-proof, badass, law-enforcement machine is way more awesome.  Not to mention Robocop is directed by Paul Verhoeven, the same guy who brought you Starship Troopers (need I really list anymore), Total Recall (the original one with Mars in it, not the crappy remake), Basic Instinct (again, need I list more), Hollow Man (with Kevin Bacon and that hot babysitter from Adventures in Babysitting who also played Marty McFly’s girlfriend in BTTF2), and Showgirls (with Jessie Spano from Saved by the Bell)!  I’m not even sure who directed The Departed.  But I can guarantee you whoever it was, they don’t have that freaking impressive list of directorial credits.  But the superior director of Robocop is just one nail in the coffin of The Departed.

If I could eloquently describe Robocop in two sentences, it would probably be these two sentences from a many-page posting which I only read the first six paragraphs of before I found two back-to-back suitably eloquent sentences about the film:

“Robocop is perfectly ‘postmodern’ — a panic film suffused with a sense of crisis precipitated by our rapid entrance into the brave new world of simulation, media, and high-technology.  Stylistically, Robocop could also be identified as postmodern in its pastiche nature which implodes and combines numerous film genres (romance, sci-fi, detective, horror, revenge, the western, etc.).”

You know what that says to me?!  That’s right!  This film has everything!  It’s a perfect film (well at least from 1987 until 1997 when Starship Troopers came out).  I seriously doubt The Departed has been so well lauded by someone on the Internet.  And even if it has, I’m sure it’s by someone who hasn’t seen Robocop.

But a stellar on-line review and an amazing director aren’t the only things that make Robocop nineteen times (rough estimate, probably a little low now that I think about it) the movie that The Departed is.  There’s an all-star cast: Peter Weller (because Peter Weller), Kurtwood Smith (and any movie with Red Foreman is a great movie), Nancy Allen (super hot), Ronnie (freakin’) Cox, and Dan O’Herlihy (as Daniel O’Herlihy).  Literally a star-studded cast!  Even stunt woman Donna Keegan is in the film!  She’s the lady who did all the stunts for Kate Capshaw in Temple of Doom!  And who does The Departed have in it?  I’m not even sure because I haven’t even seen the film.  But I know it can’t compare to the amazing cast of Robocop.

On top of that, there is cool shoot outs.  There’s police cars crashing.  There’s dinosaurs (seriously, watch the movie).  There’s T.J. Lazer!  It’s like if the middle 41 minutes of Tombstone, the last 38 minutes of The Blues Brothers, and the last half of Jurassic Park drank too much Tron and made some bad decision and had a kid.  And that kid was a law-enforcement cyborg!  That’s how awesome this movie is.  I don’t even know what The Departed is a mix of (because, again, I haven’t seen it), but from my vague understanding it’s like if Beverly Hills Cop 3 was in an abusive relationship with Fever Pitch and Fever Pitch had a scandalous affair with Married to the Mob.

I could go on for hours about all the awesome stuff in Robocop that I’m sure The Departed doesn’t have (the ED-209 and lots of Police Turbo Cruisers come to mind), but I think I’ve done a great job of proving my point.  I assume it’s pretty clear that The Departed isn’t even in the same league as Robocop.  And if you don’t agree, then maybe you should seriously watch Robocop again and give it a second chance before you start a bar fight over a movie you like that I’ve just heard a lot about but never seen.

The Most Awesomest Convention EVER!

It’s time.  I’ve waited around long enough.  If I don’t start this now, it’s never going to happen.  And you’re here for it!  Right now!  You, reading this right now, are about to be part of the biggest announcement ever!

I’ve decided I’m going to start my own convention.

That’s right!  And it is going to be the most awesomest convention ever.  Comic-Con, Dragon*Con, E3, any other con that you think is an awesome convention is going to look like an elementary school book fair compared to the awesomeness of my convention.  My convention is going to be so awesome that I’m not even sure where it is going to happen yet because I’m not sure if any regular convention center is going to be able to handle all the awesomeness of my convention.  I may have to get the Army Corp of Engineers to build a convention center to be able to hold this convention.  What is this convention that is so beyond any other convention that we should come up with a new word for it because convention doesn’t even begin to describe it?

Two words…Kev-Con!

That’s right!  Kev-Con!  What is Kev-Con?  I’m glad you freaking asked.  Kev-Con is a convention for all things Kevin!  I’m going to give you like 5 minutes to wrap your mind around how epic Kev-Con is going to be.  Don’t worry.  I’ll wait.

Okay, now that you’ve got your nose to stop bleeding because your brain was having a hard time contemplating the epicness, let me give you the 411 on Kev-Con.  Kev-Con is going to have all the greatest Kevins as guests.  That’s right.  Kevin Spacey will be there.  Kevin Bacon is going to be wandering around being awesome and probably hitting on women.  Kevin Costner is going to be signing leftover posters from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and maybe Waterworld (I don’t know I haven’t worked out all the details with Kevin Costner, but I can guarantee you leftover posters WILL BE SIGNED!).  Kevin Nealon is going to be there doing whatever he does now.  Kevin Hart will be talking really loud.  Kevin Kline will be bartending in the hotel bar.  Kevin Pollack will be doing Peter Falk impressions at his booth.  Kevin James is going to be doing karaoke.  NPR’s Morning Edition host Kevin Kniestedt will be signing NPR bumper stickers and handing them out.  Kevin Nash will be body slamming people for charity.  Kevin Sorbo will be dressed as Hercules and taking pictures with the ladies (Ladies, please limit 1 picture).  Kevin Harvick will be valet parking cars.  Seriously, Kev-Con is going to be so freaking awesome I almost can’t type.

But that’s not all!  Kev-Con is going to be Thursday through Sunday–four full days of all the Kevin you can handle!  We are going to have a Kevin McCallister screaming contest judged by Macaulay Culkin.  There’s going to be a Kevin Arnold look-alike contest judged by Fred Savage and Danica McKellar.  There’s even going to be a Kevin costume contest, so bring your best Kevin costumes!

Kev-Con is going to be the convention to end all conventions.  In fact, it’s so epically awesome that it may only happen once, like the assassination of President Lincoln or that time that computer beat those guys on Jeopardy (that computer was wicked smart).  Other conventions may just not even do their conventions any more because how can you ever attempt to compare to the pure, jet-fueled-oozing awesomeness that is Kev-Con.  Bringing together all these Kevin’s may actually create a black hole or start the apocalypse (seriously, like almost 3 scientists have emailed me and are very concerned about the potential impacts of so many Kevin’s in one place).

So for all you Kev-heads out there (that’s totally what attendees of Kev-Con are going to be called) that think you can handle it and have the available green to spend, I’m already accepting cash for non-refundable weekend passes to the first (and possibly last and only, scientific concerns pending) Kev-Con.  And I know $300 for a weekend pass is a lot.  But look at all the Kevin’s who are going to be there!  And San Diego Comic Con is like $200, and they don’t have any Kevins.  Seriously, $300 is actually probably not charging enough for this much Kevin awesomeness in one place in one weekend.

And just so you know, Kevin Federline is not invited to Kev-Con.

Quote of the Day #140130

“”You don’t compensate a working girl so you can cuddle after.”

The Duster and Tex Show Episode 101 #140107

Duster and Tex LogoThis week Duster and Tex return live from the Ranch!  The boys talk about the gifts Producer Doc gave them for Christmas and how they are going to install some slides in the farmhouse.  The boys talk about how Kevin Bacon the 22nd made the ultimate sacrifice so the boys could have barbecue for Christmas dinner.  And Duster and Tex turn the Ranch into their own little Christmas Town to give McAdenville, a.k.a. Christmas Town USA, a run for its money!

Follow Duster and Tex on Twitter @DusterandTex!

The Duster and Tex Show Episode 101 – Click to Listen or Download

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 101, Segment 1
Doc’s Christmas Gifts

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 101, Segment 2
Just the Ranch and Slides

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 101, Segment 3
Kevin Bacon the 23rd

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 101, Segment 4
Christmas Ranch-Adenville

Quote of the Day #131111

“There’s no better way to overpower a trickle of doubt than with a flood of naked truth.”

Quote of the Day #131021

“Everything gets a little bit thicker this far south, the air, the blood, me.”

Quote of the Day #130708

“If she must say such things to sleep at night, so be it.  Her loyalty costs me nothing.  Her hatefulness takes no toll at all.”

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