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Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 105 #150506


sci-fried-eggs-logoThe Sci-Fried Eggs are back and they are broadcasting this week from Studio B at Bathurst Manor!  Doc starts with a review of the Hulu original series Deadbeat.  Then Doc and Chuck discuss their new show sponsor, Rocket Helo Energy Drink along with discussing 3-D printers.  Chuck reviews Patton Oswalt’s new book Zombie Spaceship Wasteland.  The Eggs review The Avengers: Age of Ultron.  And then Doc and Chuck do some catching up on stuff they missed while they were on leave.

Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 105 – Click to Listen or Download

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 105, Segment 1
The Sci-Fried Eggs Return and Deadbeat Review

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 105, Segment 2
Rocket Helo Show and 3-D Printers

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 105, Segment 3
Zombie Spaceship Wasteland Review

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 105, Segment 4
Avengers: Age of Ultron Review

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 105, Segment 5
Catching Up on Things

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Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 89 #150114


sci-fried-eggs-logoThis week the Sci-Fried Eggs broadcast from the Hall of Tomorrow at Bathurst Manor.  The Eggs start by sharing movies they are excited for in the coming year.  Then the Eggs talk about some movies they think would make great stage plays.  The Eggs dig up an interview with author William Fripp.  Chuck finally gets around to sharing some Listener Letters.  And the Eggs talk about reality shows they think we should have!

Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 89 – Click to Listen or Download

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 89, Segment 1
Movies We’re Excited For

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 89, Segment 2
Movies That Should Be Stage Plays

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 89, Segment 3
William Fripp

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 89, Segment 4
Listener Letters #3

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 89, Segment 5
Reality Shows We Should Have

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What I Know About Caring for Babies


I should start by saying that I’ve never been put in charge of caring for a baby.  But I have been around a lot of people with babies.  One time I was on a flight from Atlanta to Las Vegas and there was a lady with a baby two rows ahead of me.  And people with babies bring them pretty much everywhere, so I’ve seen them a lot in grocery stores and restaurants.  And I’ve watched a lot of movies on babies.  I watched over half of Baby’s Day Out before I realized it wasn’t Willow.  And through my casual observations, I’ve picked up on a lot on baby care.

Baby care isn’t easy.  It requires a lot of hard work and paying attention to things.  And there are a lot of rules for caring for babies that you don’t need to know if you’re caring for your pet (unless your pet happens to be a pet baby, which is okay in some countries), an item entrusted to you by a sorcerer, or your best friend who drank too much at a DC Talk concert.  For instance, did you know you can’t feed babies after midnight?  Now I’m not sure how that works exactly because technically it’s always after midnight in a way.  But I’m guessing it means after midnight up until the sun rises for the next day.  Some of these tips are kind of vague, so I just always err on the side of caution.  Like with the midnight thing, I just wouldn’t feed a baby until noon the next day.  Better safe than sorry I always say.  So head’s up future babysitters, here are some important baby care tips.

– Don’t feed babies after midnight.  We already went over this, but here it is again just in case you’re printing this list out to post on your fridge or bulletin board.

– Don’t let babies out in sunlight.  Lots of parents know this because I always see them covering their babies up on sunny days.

– Don’t get babies wet.  Something about water is bad for babies.  This also explains why babies smell.

– Also in the aquatic arena, babies can’t cross running water.  They must be carried or ferried over.  This is why you always see parents carrying their babies across bridges in the park and on walking trails.

– Chocolate, raisins, and onions are poisonous to babies.  Don’t ever feed your baby these things.

– Never feed babies from the table.  Table scraps are bad for babies.

– Babies are allergic to garlic.  If you aren’t a fan of babies and want babies to stay away from you, then wear a string of garlic cloves around your neck.

– Babies are also allergic to silver, so always use plastic spoons with babies.

Those are some of the basics of baby care.  As you can see already, caring for a baby is no field day.  It’s a lot of work and making sure babies don’t do a lot of things.  Now if you aren’t directly caring for babies, then there are some other tips you should probably know if you are going to be around babies or people with babies.  Here are some additional baby facts.

– Babies can’t enter your home on their own.  They have to be invited in.  This is why most parents will ask you if it is okay if they bring their baby places.  Once the baby has entered your house, it can come in again any time it wants.  If someone asks you if it is okay to bring their baby to your house, always say no.

– Babies hate crosses and holy water.  This explains why babies cry so much at a baptism.  Much like everyone else in the church, the babies are in agonizing pain throughout the baptism process.

– If you are on a boat and you hear a baby crying, you should get away from it immediately.  The wails of babies have been known to lure unwary sailors to their doom.

– Babies can’t stand the yodeling of Slim Whitman in his song Indian Love Call.  I’ve heard listening to the song will make a baby’s head explode.

– I’ve heard the gaze of a baby can turn you to stone.  I’ve never seen this happen, but I don’t look directly into the eyes of babies just to be on the safe side.

That’s pretty much all you need to know about caring for babies.  When you know all the rules, baby care is a whole lot easier.  Oh,  some people say that if you can guess a baby’s name, then it has to take you to its pot of gold.  But that’s just ridiculous.  Babies don’t have money.

Doc’s Do-It-Yourself Method


There are a lot of people who like to do things themselves.  Some are poor people.  Some are people who are gluttons for punishment.  And some are people who are all about doing things themselves because they can, or they get some sick sense of fulfillment, or they are hippies.  Now the whole Do-It-Yourself process is just like any other professional process.  It takes time and effort and a lot of luck.  Unless you’re me, then it just takes time.

There are lots of Do-It-Yourself methods out there.  Some are better than others.  And some are just plain stupid.  But most of them involved a few simple steps to achieve results.  Since I’m wicked smart (and good-looking) (and modest), a lot of people ask me, “Doc, what kind of Do-It-Yourself method do you follow?”  Well, I’m glad you asked!  I like to follow the patented Doc’s Do-It-Yourself Method!  What is Doc’s Do-It-Yourself Method?  Again, I’m glad you asked!

Here’s how Doc’s Do-It-Yourself Method works:

1. Access the problem or decide what you want to do.
2. Develop a plan of attack.
3. Research and develop.
4. Test said plan.
5. Execute plan.

Let’s go through the process with a little example.  Let’s say you want to build a bird house.  BAM!  You’ve already completed Step 1!  Deciding what you want to do is a step in itself!  You see, Doc’s Do-It-Yourself Method is all about the rewards!  Why waste time being disappointed right out of the gate when you can already feel like you’ve accomplished 20% of your goal!  I know, it’s awesome (I told you I was wicked smart).

Now on to Step 2.  Let’s develop that plan of attack.  We got to decide how we are we going to build this bird house?  There’s no reason to spend a lot of time coming up with our own ideas when lots of other chumps have shared their sweet ideas.  Let’s look on the Internet and see what kind of birdhouses other people are building.  Go ahead.  Take a look.  I’ll wait.  Yeah, I know, there’s a lot of stupid ways people are building bird houses, but there are a few (very few) diamonds in the rough.  So go ahead and pick a design you like.  Go ahead.  Pick one.  I’ll wait.  Did you pick a design you like?  Great!  That’s Step 2!  You’re 40% done!  That’s almost halfway!

Now Step 3 is where we have to take a trip to Lowes or Home Depot or Wal-mart or the Dollar Store (depending on your budget).  Step 3 is all about research and development.  You gotta see what materials are gonna cost you.  Then when you find out how expensive birdhouse stuff is, you spend some time looking for cheaper materials you can use.  You have to decide if you wanna use screws or nails or glue to secure your birdhouse.  Step 3 is not a rush step.  Take you time with Step 3.  Look things over and make some smart decisions.  Let’s face it, a birdhouse is a luxury for birds.  They’ve lived just fine for thousands of years without birdhouses.  They’ll be fine while you research your project.  So don’t rush things because you’re worried about the birds being cold and homeless.

Now to Step 4: the testing phase.  This is where you actually have materials and you start doing some building.  You’ll do a lot of measuring twice, cutting once, measuring again to see why the piece doesn’t fit, then measuring again and cutting again.  You’re going to spend a lot of time seeing what will actually work and what won’t.  You’ll find out things like maybe you need glue AND nails for this bird mansion you’re building.  Anyway, the point is test the waters and see what will work and what won’t in physical application.  I’ll go ahead and tell you that Step 3 and Step 4 are another 40% of the plan that will take like 80% of your time.  Don’t worry.  Great (and patented) Do-It-Yourself methods like this one take time.

Now on to Step 5!  Execute that plan!  Make that birdhouse.

Just so you know, like Roy Underhill on The Woodwright’s Shop or Graham Kerr on The Galloping Gourmet, I’ve been building a birdhouse as I’ve been writing this essay.  And I’ve been using Doc’s Do-It-Yourself Method.

Here’s what mine looks like.

Bird-Mansion

Yours probably looks more like this.

birdhouse-bad

Hey, don’t worry.  You gotta break some legs to make some omelets, or something like that.  And you’ve gotta make some whatever the hell it is you’ve made before you make a passable birdhouse.  Keep trying.  And you may want to maybe pick some better plans from the Internet.  Just remember, Doc’s Do-It-Yourself Method is like playing the harp.  It takes time to master.  Good luck!

Why You Should Vote for Me for President of the United States


I’m running for President of the United States.  That’s right!  I’ve joked about it for long enough.  I’m finally putting my money where my mouth is (not to mention I’m finally old enough) and I’m running (well, more like briskly walking) for President.  Now I’m sure all of you are wondering why I would make a great President.  Well, I’m glad you asked!

Let’s face it, I’m totally cut out for politics.  I’m interesting.  I don’t care what people think about me or my policies.  I have amazing hair.  I look dashing in a suit.  I have just enough skeletons in my closet to be a field day for the media.  But those are just some of the obvious reasons you should vote for me for President.  If you’re not already convinced, allow me to really sell you on why you want me as the leader of the 4th geographically largest country in the world.

I’ve been working on a sweet platform that will make the Presidential election a slam dunk for me.  The first plank of my platform is daily nap time!  That’s right, everyone gets an hour nap every day!  I know, that’s badass, right?  And if you’re at a job, it will be a paid nap time!  Yup, everyone is going to be much more productive because they’re going to be well-rested!  Then there’s also an hour lunch.  That’s right, jobs have to give you a paid hour lunch!  Now I know what some of you are asking, “Doc, can I just nap for two hours and not take lunch?”  And I say that this is America and you’re free to spend your lunch hour and nap hour however you like!  You can even work for those two hours if you really want to, but you won’t be punished if you don’t.  I’ll make sure of that.

Now that’s just the beginning.  Check this out!  I’m going to get this country back on track with taxes!  I know what some of you are saying, “But Doc, I already pay a lot in taxes.”  Well, that’s about to end for some of you because if you make less than 100,000 dollars a year, you don’t have to pay taxes!  That’s right!  I’m cutting out all the tax loopholes for the rich and big businesses and letting them pay the taxes for a while.  And I know what you’re saying, “But Doc, those rich people won’t vote for you.”  And I say, “Who cares!”  There are way more people who make less than a hundred grand a year than people who make more than a hundred grand.  That’s just simple numbers when it comes to voting.  And I’m pretty sure with my new percentage tax plan, I can get this National Debt knocked out in no time.

Now I know this is already a sore spot with some people, but I’m going to fix this Healthcare system once and for all.  The United States Healthcare System needs an efficiency overhaul.  When it comes to how much bang for our buck Americans get for Healthcare costs, the United States does just slightly better than Serbia and Brazil.  And is worse than China, Algeria, and Iran.  The only country that spends more than the United States per person on healthcare costs is Switzerland.  But Switzerland ranks as one of the top ten most efficient healthcare systems.  That means the United States is spending a lot of money on healthcare and not getting a lot for it.  Sort of like when you sign up for a magazine subscription but then you quit reading the magazine but they still keep sending it and you’re too lazy to cancel the subscription.  Well, I’m not sure how we cancel our healthcare subscription and get a better one, but I’m going to figure that out.  And just know that you’re not going to have to pay a butt load of money every time you go to the doctor.

At this point, I’ve probably got the election by a pretty solid landslide.  But why stop there.  If you’re going to win a popularity contest, then you gotta make sure you’re the most popular create change and make a country better, then you shouldn’t just stop once you’ve won an election, right?  That being said, it’s about time we had free internet for everyone.  That’s right, we are going to free Wi-Fi the crap out of this country.  No more having to guess your neighbor’s password or having to pay a daily charge at certain fancy hotels that shall remain nameless.  We are going to take a lesson from Hooters and McDonald’s and other classy restaurants and offer free Wi-Fi across the entire country!  This is America for goodness sakes!  There is no reason every citizen shouldn’t have Internet access any time they want it.

Now I don’t know how this one’s going to go over, but I’m seriously thinking about bringing back smoking sections in restaurants.  I’ve been watching a lot of Mad Men lately on Netflix and it seems like this country was a whole lot better when we had smoking sections in restaurants.  Now, before a bunch of people get all up in arms about this one, it’s just a working theory.  But if I can figure out the connection, you can bet your ass smoking sections are back.

That’s about all I’ve got.  Oh, one more thing.  I’m always going to dress in black suits.  I’m going to be completely non-partisan.  None of this blue tie/red tie crap.  I’m the President of the United States of America.  I’m not a Democrat or a Republican.  I’m an American!  And I’m doing what’s best for America!  And if you’re not voting for an American like me then I guess you’re voting for the terrorist to win.

 

 

 

Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 67 #140813


sci-fried-eggs-logoThis week the Sci-Fried Eggs broadcast from the Bathurst Manor Science Center!  The Eggs start by discussing the Ebola outbreak.  Then the Eggs give you some Dragon*Con tips and tricks.  The Eggs talk about the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie.  Then the Eggs bring you a Teenage Mutant blast from the past with an interview with some of the original TMNT voices, Robbie Rist and Hal Rayle.  Then the Eggs discuss what kind of supers powers they would like to have and which ones they wouldn’t.

Sci-Fried Eggs Episode 67 – Click to Listen or Download

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 67, Segment 1
Ebola Outbreak

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 67, Segment 2
Dragon*Con Tips and Tricks

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 67, Segment 3
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 67, Segment 4
TMNT Blast from the Past: Robbie Rist and Hal Rayle Interview

Sci-Fried Eggs: Episode 67, Segment 5
Super Powers We’d Like to Have and Not Have

 

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The Duster and Tex Show Episode 130 #140729


Duster and Tex LogoThis week Duster and Tex discuss why their hometown of Gastonia, North Carolina ain’t such a bad town.  Then Duster shares the story of losing a bunch of money at the local fair.  The boys join a beer of the month club.  And Duster’s ex-girlfriend Misty returns to the ranch.

Follow Duster and Tex on Twitter @DusterandTex!

The Duster and Tex Show Episode 130 – Click to Listen or Download

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 130, Segment 1
Gastonia Ain’t So Bad

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 130, Segment 2
Losing Money at the Fair

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 130, Segment 3
Beer of the Month

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 130, Segment 4
The Return of Misty

The Duster and Tex Show Episode 128 #140715


Duster and Tex LogoThis week on the show, the boys share some stories about exs and the St. Bernard they used to have. Then the boys recount their experiences meeting Reba McEntire and the 24 hours they spent with the Gambler himself, Kenny Rogers!

Follow Duster and Tex on Twitter @DusterandTex!

The Duster and Tex Show Episode 128 – Click to Listen or Download

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 128, Segment 1
Exs and the St. Bernard

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 128, Segment 2
Filling in for Reba McEntire’s Band

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 128, Segment 3
Almost Owned Kenny Roger’s Guitar

The Duster and Tex Show: Episode 128, Segment 4
Gambling with the Gambler

Quote of the Day #140506


“My depression is endemic.  Comes from living here in this bog at the end of the rainbow, having to talk to fundamentalist cracker barrels like yourself.”

Quote of the Day #140502


“We’ll never be ready.  That’s the whole point.  Nobody’s ever ready for anything.  You either just do it or you don’t.”

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