FTPT: What the Hell Are You People Looking For OR The Most Bizarre Keyword Searches that Led to My Blog
So one of my loyal blog followers PouringMyArtOut asked me how I get so many tags on my posts. Well, the short answer was I do what I want and WordPress hasn’t stopped me…so far.
I try to type in search tags for anything I can think of in a post. You know, you’re up at 2 or 3 in the morning, and you start asking the really important questions. Not questions like who is that guy from The Fugitive and U.S. Marshals who looks like Judge Rinehold but isn’t? (The answer is Tom Wood by the way.) I’m talking about the really important questions. Questions like what are the 10 best Nazi Sexploitation films? (Elsa SheWolf of the SS is the best.) Or if there is there a Truck and Driver Magazine? (There is.) Or does Judy Greer ever get nude on film? (Topless in Adaptation with Nicolas Cage.) You know what I mean, the really important pressing questions of life.
Well, on the stats page you can view what searches people have made and stumbled upon your blog. And every now and then I will just browse through the list to see what kind of weird ass shit people are searching for. And people type in some pretty strange combinations of words to search for things. So below are some of the more interesting and funny and just downright strange keywords people have used to find my blog.
There are some basic odd combinations that catch my attention. Usually it’s a string of words that stands out like…
- before it’s too late tumblr
or doesn’t quite make sense like…
- cold plate breakthrough
Then there are the one’s that do make a little sense because I can vaguely remember a post about them like…
- funny birthday pictures with Godzilla
- but my hands are too full of guns
Then there are the one’s that I don’t remember, but I’m glad I posted something with that series of keywords like…
- dr. badass
- “Save us Mr. Black Man”
Then there are the search terms with words that are really common, but make some sense based on what I know about myself. For instance…
- scary shit
A pretty broad category, but I do post a lot about zombies because of my very rational and well-founded fear of a zombie apocalypse. So I’m sure the keywords scary and shit end up on more posts than I realize.
Then we get into the sex part of it. I mean, let’s face it, everyone likes to see women naked. So that leads to…
- _______ nude.
Every celebrity female I have posted about fills in the blank…Marisha Ray, Lexi Belle, Dina Myers, Judy Greer, Lucy Lawless, Mitchelle Trachtenberg, Kristanna Loken, Elivra Mistress of the Dark, Slave Leia, Harley Quinn, The Baroness, Batgirl, just to name a few.
Then there are sexual search terms that are more common than they should be, like…
- jailbait sex
- jailbait + tumblr
- reddit jailbait
- jailbait entrapment
Jailbait entrapment?! Why the hell did that ever lead to my blog? And if that wasn’t strange enough, apparently I use the tag necrophilia a lot because these show up…
- necrophilia video
- zombie necrophilia
- penguins necrophilia
- necrophilia not just for breakfast
Okay, you got me…is having sex with a zombie necrophilia? That’s a valid concern for some people I’m sure. But penguin necrophilia? What the hell? And necrophilia not just for breakfast I assume to be the punchline to a joke. At least I hope it is.
Then we move into what I like to consider fetish territory. Rule 34, right? I try to remain open-minded about it when search terms like these come up…
- riding amazon sex position
This does not exist as far as I know. Yes, I tried searching it. If you know what “riding amazon” means, please let me know.
- kim possible and bondage
Who am I to judge what a man and a cartoon teenager do.
- small pointy boobs
I can appreciate a nice A-cup.
- big tit steampunk
Who doesn’t want to see big-tittied Steampunk chicks?!
- moonshine hillbilly babe
I absolutely love white trash girls. God bless Confederate Railroad and their song.
There’s the ever popular…
- women flashing truck drivers
And then there’s the winner…
- floating castle tits
I have no fucking clue on this one. Seriously, no fucking clue.
Posted on August 2, 2012, in A BatDoc Original, Flash Traffic Priority Transmission and tagged 2, 34, a, a-cup, adaptation, amazon, and, apocalypse, ass, babe, babes, badass, baroness, batdoc, batgirl, belle, big, birthday, black, blog, bondage, boobs, breakfast, browse, cage, carrie, cartoon, cassandra, castle, chicks, clue, cold, comedy, confederate, cup, dark, dina, do, don't, dr., driver, drivers, elsa, elvira, entrapment, fetish, film, films, fisher, flash, flashing, floating, for, fucking, fugitive, full, funny, girls, godzilla, greer, guns, hands, harley, hillbilly, humor, i, ignorant, important, in, jailbait, joke, judge, judy, junk, just, kim, kristanna, laugh, lawless, leia, lexi, list, listen, loken, lucy, magazine, man, marisha, marshals, me, men, meyers, mib, middle, mistress, mitchelle, moonshine, movie, mr, naked, Nazi, necrophilia, Nicolas, no, not, nude, open-minded, original, part, penguins, peterson, pictures, pizza, plate, pointy, position, possible, priority, questions, quinn, railroad, ray, reddit, reinhold, riding, rule, save, scary, scene, seriously, sex, sexploitation, she, shit, slave, slice, small, smith, song, SS, steampunk, stop, subway, teen, teenager, territory, thoughts, through, tit, tits, tom, too, trachtenberg, traffic, transmission, trash, truck, try, tumblr, u.s., us, video, want, weird, what, white, will, wolf, woman, women, wood, zombie. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.